you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize