About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
