So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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