Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We had sex on a dog bed..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
