filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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