I think scott just propositioned me for sex
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
