I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
