They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
