my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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