listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
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so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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