remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You pole danced in your parka.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
