What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
