Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
