Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I believe in your delicious
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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