And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
