Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
