i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
