Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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