1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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