He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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