I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
