I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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