i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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