You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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