i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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