i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
