I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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