He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
