my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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