with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
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How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
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I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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