Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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