Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
