I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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