You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
