If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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