Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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