that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
