i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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