Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
