just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
