I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
