thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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