And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
