I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't want my vagina anymore.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
