Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
