This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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