Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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