It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
