the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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