Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I only lived at night.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
