My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
