Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
