May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
