Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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