I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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