they need to just BURY HIM!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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