I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Don't make out with my wife yet
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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