Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
as a side note pls kill me
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