Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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