Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
