so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Found the puke drawer
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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