So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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