i barfeds in our rink
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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