i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.