I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.