So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.