how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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