No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
